


Sit Down, You're Rockin' the Boat

by gelandspray



Series: Lay It All Down [12]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Trans, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Transgender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-02
Updated: 2014-07-02
Packaged: 2018-02-07 02:16:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1881321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gelandspray/pseuds/gelandspray
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's days like these when he just needs to talk to Unique.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sit Down, You're Rockin' the Boat

**Author's Note:**

> Wild Card Fill  
> For [Klaine Bingo](http://www.klainebingo.tumblr.com)

June Dolloway came to NYADA.

And while Blaine might not have known who that is, Kurt and Kristin certainly did and trolling the NYADA gossip blogs had finally paid off. It meant that Kurt found out about the showcase _immediately_. It meant he applied _immediately_. It meant he told Blaine to apply _immediately_. It meant that - while Kristin unfortunately couldn’t apply because the dance studio catered very little to the acting track, so it was omitted from the showcase – they started on Kurt’s outfit _immediately_ and he was glad to finally have someone of his fashion caliber and age to swap fashion advise with.

So, with Blaine selected from the performance track and Kurt from the musical theater and with the perfect outfit picked out, the night was shaping up to be perfect. It was perfect - just not necessarily perfect for Kurt.

He _cringes_ at the memory of being so enthusiastic. He physically _flinches_ when he thinks about how desperate he’d been and _recoils_ at the memory of how he’d jumped at the idea of approval. He’d been so dumb. What he told Blaine was true; his feelings were less jealousy and more pissed off and filled with _sheer and unadulterated shame_ , like he’d perked up his head like a puppy waiting for a treat only to be slapped on the nose. It was one of Kurt’s least favorite feelings, the feeling of getting invested, getting his hopes up, just to crash and burn. It was a feeling Kurt _never_ wanted to feel and here he was.

The worst part of it was that it was in public, in front of Blaine.

He sent Blaine to that dinner with the intention to then turn around and go to his room to sit in the dark, illegally watch Project Runway on his computer, and probably have a good cry because he’d been passed up _again_.

He only made it through one episode and a half, though, before eyeing and toying with his phone turned into typing out some texts, which turned into deleting every word before he sent it, which turned into dialing.

“My number one man,” Unique greets.

“My leading lady,” Kurt croons back.

“Such a sweet-talker,” Unique laughs. “How did that performance for the old white lady go?”

Kurt groans. “Horrible.”

“What?” Unique shouts. “Why?”

“Can I be a total asshole for a second?” Kurt blurts. He just—he just wants to get it out of his system once and for all.

“With me? Always.”

“She basically treated me like scum,” he declares.

“Fuck.”

”I’m just so _upset_ ,” Kurt spits out. “And I’m trying so hard not to, but I can’t help but wonder if Blaine got it over me mostly because he passes better. I mean I do know that he’s…sort of better than I am but he’s also a masculine guy who could pass as a very preppy straight man. I’ve watched Gossip Girl. I know those outfits don’t count him out. But so much about be counts me out. Of course she passed up on me. I’m so much harder to sell. I’m not the kind of guy you can sell to old biddies with millions. I’m _too gay_. I don’t blame Blaine; honestly, I don’t. It’s no more his fault he’s masculine as my fault I’m not. But I just wanted to be cut a _break_.”

“It sucks, Kurt. I won’t lie. This place people call ‘the real world’ is built to strike down people like us. Like I say all the time, it’s a miracle we learned anything different than to get in line with authority since glee club was no better. Students empowered themselves better than leadership did. Mr. Schue acted like he was all about raising up, but he didn’t do much to raise up most of the kids that really needed it. Some of the kids who needed to be shown their voices matter – the queer kids, the students of color – were left mostly voiceless, while white, straight, cis folk get almost all the airspace. Who sang most of the songs at performances? The duets? Maybe throw us in if you want a little _flair_ but don’t give us the center stage. No wonder Mercedes had to leave the group and then cut a bargain to get competition solos in New Directions.

Caring about talent doesn’t mean you can stop caring about representation. It’s not ‘fair’ to make the kids already fighting outside glee club, fight in it. That’s not what fair means. Fucking asshole. Jesse may have screamed in my face but he also let me be front woman, let me be heard and let me have a few weeks where I was celebrated. A mayor gave me keys to a _city_. Mr. Schue let me slip into oblivion. Doesn’t realize that not screaming in my face and instead sitting me in the background is a lot like not saying your racism out loud but still double checking you’ve locked your car whenever a brown guy walks past – doesn’t make you exempt.”

“I love you. You’re the best. I just fucking love you,” Kurt admires.  

“The feeling’s mutual, honey.”

“You know,” Kurt continues - he’s not _quite_ done yet, “Blaine is near picture perfect professionalism – which is pretty much a curse word in my book by this point. Professionalism is a thin veil for policing: body policing, gender policing, race policing and a show of wealth, of _good grooming_. June Dolloway probably thinks it’s _unprofessional_ to be like I am and the world doesn’t need to see anymore of me. Blaine’s the picture of _wholesome_ no matter how gay he actually is and it works for him and—”

“Kurt,” Unique laughs, “don’t pretend like you’ve ever wanted to seem wholesome.”

“Well, no, that’s true,” Kurt admits, “I have almost always embraced my…flair. But my brand of flair is only marketable for that one in a million. You know, I showed my dad all the plays I could do on Broadway – it was a short list – and he told me to write my own plays. But, I don’t want to have to write my own plays. I don’t want to spend every day carving out my place,” Kurt rants, shoving a hand in his hair and gripping _hard_.

“It’s not like they say,” Unique agrees. “We’ve come out but it’s not over. Every day, by existing, we come out over and over again and have to hope for the best.”

“ _Exactly!_ And it’s _tiring_!”

“I promise, honey, when Unique makes her millions, I’ll show you off to _all_ the biddies.”

“And I you,” Kurt promises. “I’m sorry I’ve basically just called to bitch at you.”

“Bitch all you want, Kurt. We don’t have that many people to do it with and we have to get it out somehow. I do the same to you when shit gets real at McKinley; we have a good back and forth going.”

“Well, as long as you think so…”

“I do. Now,” Unique says, shifting tones, “have you let it all out?”

“Yes. Thank you,” Kurt sighs, feeling much, _much_ lighter. He releases his hair from the tight grip and attempts to primp even though he’s sure his hair is totally and irrevocably wrecked.

“Good, me too,” Unique agrees. “Then it’s time for us to reel it in like we do and to keep on rocking the boat every day, _and_ it’s time for you to remember that it’s not all Blaine’s fault. You can’t let one hag tear you down or tear you apart.”

“I know. You better not let Ohio tear you down either,” he insists back.

Unique simply breathes out, “Homestretch.”

“We’ll be reunited soon. I’ll see you after Finn’s birthday,” Kurt reminds her, torn between excited and mournful. “That is, if you’re still coming back with me.”

“You better believe it! Just a few more weeks and New York won’t know what hit it.”

“Perfect,” Kurt murmurs happily. “Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Kurt hears the telltale dings of an ended call and lets the phone slip to cradle in his palm. He considers tossing it across his bed and diving back into Project Runway, but he knows better than to ignore Unique’s advice.

Kurt: _How’s it going? Does the plastic taste like $25,000?_

He doesn’t expect a response really – he knows Blaine is too polite to text at the table – and he’s really just throwing out a line to Blaine fore when he gets back to his apartment, but a quick response he gets.

Blaine: _Oh, definitely. Lifestyles of the rich and famous. Speaking of which, I’m pretty sure I just acted like a high-class stripper…with none of the actual stripping._

Kurt: _How is that possible? I’m pretty sure being a stripper means you have to strip. It’s sort of in the name._

Blaine: _Well, June said we were earning our dinner and there were a lot of bills being thrown around. Literally, raining dollar bills. Certainly feels like I should be having them tuck it in my waistband too._

Kurt: _Scandalous! Blaine Anderson! Who knew she’d be such a corrupting force in your life!_

Blaine: _June sat on a guy’s lap, too. Dug a wad of bills out of his pocket. She’s also VERY glittery. Can that be considered a high-class lap dance?_

Kurt: _I should never have let you leave the loft. If I had known the debauchery to come…_

Blaine: _Really, Kurt. The only debauchery I should encounter is by your hand. ;)_

Kurt: _That I can accept._

Blaine: _Not to be a downer, but I really am sorry though that she didn’t pick you. I don’t know why she would pass you up._

Kurt: _I have some ideas. But, just enjoy yourself tonight._  
Kurt: _I mean, not in the dirty way though. Save that for when I see you tomorrow._

Blaine: _That I can accept. :)_

**Author's Note:**

> (I'm going to admit that I'm a bit nervous about this one. But I couldn't _not_ post it.)


End file.
